Interview with Diana Soline Full Circle, KPFA Radio, Berkeley, California February 10, 2006 Announcer: We don’t often hear about the link between sexuality and spirituality. In honor of Valentine’s Day, Full Circle’s Dara Kaufman LaDonne took the opportunity to speak with Diana Soline, a Russian-born erotic educator who teaches women and couples in the Bay Area how to explore the deeper levels of their own sexuality and build meaningful connections in romantic relationships. Dara Kaufman LaDonne: It’s a familiar scene from many Hollywood movies. After a long night partying out on the town, we see two people return to their apartment or home. We see one shoe drop, then the other. Clothes fall off slowly or quickly. We see a fade—then cut to the next morning—the morning afterwards. What takes place in the bedroom is often considered a private, intimate matter. And yet, according to a study by the Advanced Research Group at the Sociology Department at U.C. [The University of California] Santa Barbara, over 66% of our prime time shows have at least some sexual content. In fact, one survey shows that when young people are asked how they get their messages about sexuality and relationships, the mass media is the factor most frequently mentioned. I asked Diana Soline, a Russian born erotic educator who teaches sexuality workshops in the [San Francisco] Bay Area about where else people develop their ideas about sexuality. Diana Soline: Families, culture, their religious upbringing and unfortunately in this culture, there’s a lot of very negative messages. One is “Don’t talk about it.” DKL: Conflicting messages about sexuality and relationships are all around us. Yet rarely do we hear about a link between sexuality and spirituality, something Diana Soline calls “Sacred Sexuality.” DS: Cultivating sacred sexuality to me is about cultivating connection with your sexuality and your spirituality and in particular how to be present in your body with sexual energy—the pleasurable energy with your heart open and your mind being clear. Also, asking “Is sex right now serving the best good for me and for this person,” and that’s more of a spiritual question. DKL: In 2000, Diana Soline founded Women’s Temple—a sanctuary for body and spirit, to help women understand and cultivate their own sexuality, and to help couples connect more deeply in their sexual relationships. She came to this work inspired by her own life experiences. Diana was raised in Russia, and moved to the U.S. in 1989. In her mid-twenties, she experienced a painful divorce. She began to explore Taoism and Buddhism, and took a class at Body Electric School of the Healing Arts in Oakland. In some ways, she says, this work was to better understand herself. DS: I came across a workshop for women on sexuality and spirituality, and I felt that that experience opened a door for me for healing that I wasn’t aware that I needed, and didn’t even know that such levels of healing are possible to experience. In particular, I realized just how much I was still influenced by the sexual abuse that I experienced as a teenager. And this work provided many tools for me to integrate my experience to understand it more and to move beyond it. DKL: Now Diana teaches workshops to both men and women to fill a void she believes is created by the absence of a solid erotic education provided by our society. DS: I feel that this culture doesn’t really provide a solid erotic education. We’re educated about STD’s [sexually transmitted diseases] and our reproductive functions—birth control and things like that, but we are not educated about treating our eros as a life force energy, as a creative force, as a love force that can deeply nurture us, heal us, expand us as human beings…as spiritual beings. There’s more education now available, especially in the Bay Area, but in most of the country, it’s just simply not available. DKL: For Diana, understanding oneself as a sexual being is critical for both one’s own fulfillment and for fulfillment in relationships with others. DS: In women’s workshops, the point is to connect to your own feminine energy, to your own sexuality, and to know who you are as an erotic being separate from anybody else—just on your own. How does your body express itself through sexuality? So that’s a very important step in knowing [yourself] as a sexual being. And then we have workshops for men and women. Some of them are geared towards education about women’s sexuality specifically, and then there are others that I co-teach with my husband, Bernie, that are geared toward teaching men how to be able to expand their orgasmic energy in their body so that they can delay ejaculation and spend a longer time in the sexual arousal and ultimately again connect their genitals with their heart and their spirit and from that place share the energy with their partner. DKL: Diana believes in a process of integrating sexuality, as she describes: DS: In our lives, I feel that very often we connect with our genitals in our bedrooms; we live in our hearts in maybe some other areas of our lives; and our minds maybe in yet other areas. To me living in integration, where all the parts: genitals, heart, and mind, and spirit are connected, and when we act moment to moment from that place of integrity, that place of wholeness, that to me is being connected deeply spiritually and sexually. DKL: Workshops through the Women’s Temple involve discussion. They also include meditation and guided exercises for individuals and couples. Diana describes the courses range from introductory to more advanced workshops. The introductory classes are clothes-on and involve no touching. Diana shares some of the responses from couples in one of her recent workshops. DS: Many people said “Wow, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I am now realizing just how much there is that I didn’t even know is possible in my sexuality as an individual and as a couple.” DKL: Men and women come to these workshops with a range of experiences. Many, but not all of the women in the workshops have experienced some form of sexual trauma. DS: There are many women who come who have been traumatized either by sexual abuse, kind of the obvious sexual abuse of molestation, rape or incest, and also not that obvious, as many women have been disconnected from their sexuality due to conservative, strict, religious upbringing. That’s a less obvious way. It’s a very widespread problem that women experience. [It] disconnects a lot of women from their core pleasure. DKL: Diana further discusses the impact of certain religious ideas on our understanding of sexuality. DS: Many religious traditions deny sexuality and say that only by denying the body you can transcend and be a spiritual being. But I feel that it’s just the opposite: that we came into our bodies for a reason and to fully experience our lives as human beings, it’s very important that we are connected to our sexuality as well. DKL: Ultimately, Diana says, this work is not for everyone, and yet if you’re curious, she has some advice. DS: If you feel that there’s more to your sexuality that you want to explore, you are probably right. There are many ways how you can access that information. There are books; there are educational videos and DVD’s, and talks. So find a way that works for you, but don’t give up that’s the most important thing. Find a resource that works for you. DKL: Women’s Temple will offer two special events for couples for Valentines Days. To learn more about these events, visit www.womenstemple.com or call (510) 919-5350. For Full Circle, this is Dara Kaufman LaDonne. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Diana Soline is a founder of Women’s Temple. She can be reached at www.womenstemple.com diana@womenstemple.com (510) 919-5350